It's been a week now that I have been working out and
eating right. Of course, there has been a few occasional eating out
but overall I have been a very good girl.
I was recently doing my research on low fat diets for Gout
and realised I have three ailments and all of them are related with pain.
Gout which basically is the worst and most painful kind
of arthritis. I mean really I am a 24 year old female with Gout and trust
me, the attacks are extremely painful.
Fibromyalgia, which is basically pain on trigger points
and I seem to have most of them. Everyday normal work sometimes becomes a task
for me. I mean sometimes simple tasks like brushing teeth or washing my hair
becomes so painful, it is unimaginable. Of course initially I used to complain
about this pain, but now I have realised people either thing I am lying or they
are simply bored of it. Unfortunately, it is still there, alive and well in me
and the pain is still a good friend.
PCOD, which is polycystic ovary, which means cysts in my
ovary. Though the pain is much less now, sometimes I have bad attacks and i
wonder why after so much medication these buggers do not go. Urghh...
So, in total pain seems to be a constant factor in my
life. I sometimes wonder (by Hindu belief) maybe I was a complete asshole and
must have made a lot of people suffer, for me to suffer so much from pain now.
I mean, trust me when I say this, sometimes I wish I was dead, rather than live
with so much pain. I do not remember a single day in the last 5 years where I
have not felt pain in some part of the body.
Anyway, as they say, 'you can't beat them , join them', I
have thus, decided to do so by embracing pain and am slowly learning to live
with it.
